By Donna Astern
Note: This is a very sensitive topic for many people. In no way is this article meant to cause you further pain, but instead to point to healing and faith in the One who can truly change a heart.
Have you noticed the epidemic of estranged parents, children, and grandchildren these days? It’s both sad and startling to realize how many families (at least in the USA) are hurting due to broken relationships, especially among Christians.
Many adult children have been turning against their parents, their families, and/or their faith. The spirit of division and the influence of secular media & culture have taken many children captive. When also fueled by American individualism, this deception, in its extreme, dishonors and disrespects parents, displays rebellion and blasphemy, and causes hurtful family situations to become intractable.
Alternatively, at times, it is the parents who have turned against their children. The hurt of rejection works on both sides of the relationship.
Even though the Word teaches that in the last days, there will be disobedient, unloving, irreconcilable and rebellious people (2Tim 3:2-3), Christian parents and children are often stunned and confused to observe those behaviors in their own family.
For parents, it can seem as though the promise of Prov. 22:6 has failed. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Additionally, a sense of foreboding can hover over a parent’s broken heart due to the adult child’s violation of Ex. 20:12. “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.”
However, long before these current difficulties, our loving Father provided two promises I am highlighting for us to lay claim to in faith.
Promise #1. The spirit of Elijah
See the first promise here in Malachi 4:5-6:“Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.”
John the Baptist initially fulfilled this prophecy through his ministry of calling Israel to repentance. (See Luke 1:16, John 11:14.)
However, the promise was not only restoration between Father God and man, but also the hearts of fathers and children to each other.
The spirit of Elijah is sent to bring repentance, restoration, and reconciliation.
Parents and adult children, in spite of your hurt and anger, seek to embrace the spirit of Elijah and the ministry of reconciliation. Aim to keep an open heart willing to confess and repent of your own wrongs and shortcomings, as well as, to forgive, restore, and reconcile.
Our example is Father God who sought to reconcile us without counting our wrongs against Him.
(2 Cor 5:18-19) Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
Promise #2. The pouring out of God’s Spirit
In addition to the promise of the spirit of Elijah, claim this promise for the last days.
“It will come about after this
That I will pour out My Spirit on all mankind;
And your sons and daughters will prophesy,
Your old men will dream dreams,
Your young men will see visions.
Even on the male and female servants
I will pour out My Spirit in those days.” ~ Joel 2:28-2
As we deeply tap into and draw from these promises in faith, His resources will give us the edge to escape the enemy’s plans for us and our families.
(2 Pet. 1:4) For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust.
Parents and children, there is so much more which could be said on this matter. But for now, take courage and rise above your own disappointment, confusion, anger, and pain. Enter into a time of prayer with humility and willingness to grow. Look towards the good of both you and your family member being fully reconciled first to God and walking in your destiny as a child of God.
Listen to what the Spirit of God whispers to your heart and pray in strong faith. Let words of faith in God’s promises be on your lips, giving thanks that Father God has heard you and is faithful, watching over His Word to perform it (Jeremiah 1:12). Stay constant and be patient until you see the fulfillment.
A Prayer of Faith
“Father, I lift up hurting families who suffer the pain of estrangement and confusion. All things are possible with You. Release comfort, wisdom, and grace. Restore human hearts to Your heart and pour Your love into every wound and offense. Show parents and their children what to do and what not to do. Give the courage to stand strong in grace and steadfast in trusting You.
“I claim the promises of Your Word. Release the spirit of Elijah for heart changes between parents and children. Heal, restore, and deliver for Your glory. Reveal and restore the destiny and plans you have for each member’s life. Deliver this family from every plan of the enemy. I decree that according to Your Word no weapon formed against us shall prosper. I cancel the enemy’s strategy and declare that every chain of bondage and wall of offense is being broken now in Jesus’ name. You are taking out the hard heart of stone and giving the soft heart of flesh. I speak the release of the ministry of reconciliation and ask for angelic help to move on the family’s behalf and for the advance of Your kingdom in all their lives. I call destiny and dreams to life once again in Jesus’ name.
“Thank You for hearing our prayers of petition and intercession. Thank You that hearts are now shifting into alignment with love, forgiveness, and Your kingdom. Pour out your Spirit afresh on these families. Yes, our families will prophesy and have spiritual dreams and visions for Your divine purposes. Be it unto us according to your Word and Your heart of reconciliation in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Additional Scriptures:
Isaiah 54:17
Ezekiel 36:26
Hebrews 1:14
1 Pet 5:6-9
(Mark 11:24-25) “Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you. Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.”
We look forward to hearing your good news of how the Lord is working a change in your family for His glory!